Let it snow

Bad news on the Mardi Gras front. If you were to throw a dart at the area in the midwest that's supposed to get six to ten inches of snow by this time tomorrow, St. Louis would be the freaking bull's eye. And if you were to hit it, I'd buy you a beer. But that's beside the point.

Weather.com says the driving conditions tomorrow will be "extremely hazardous if not impossible." Sounds promising, doesn't it? Yeah, not so much. We're in the throes of deciding whether we're still young enough to bounce if we get tossed through a windshield. I'm thinking not.

So, odds are that I won't be imbibing hurricanes and begging for beads this weekend. At least not in the Lou.

In other news, it looks like I may make it through an entire five days of work this week. You see, two weeks ago, I was in Florida Tuesday through Sunday. And then last week was the Attack of the Killer Virus, causing me to take Thursday and Friday off. But this week, even though I still have remnants of the raspy machine gun, I just might make it through Friday! Woo hoo for me! No wait, boo hoo for me.

And now for a secret: I'm not exactly sad about the possibility of missing Mardi Gras. Because, well, I've had an increasingly strong and persistant urge to go shopping. It's been a while. The Urge is actually sitting on my shoulder right now, whispering at me to waste the whole weekend at stores I can't realistically afford. Shopping sounds mighty preferable to standing in the wind of downtown St. Louis, shivering and whining because I just dropped my phone in a half-frozen puddle and I really need to go to the bathroom but I can only find a porta potty and I just want to get something to eat and where's that camel back when I need it and is the line to this bar almost up? And why can't I see a TV? THE KU GAME IS ON.

I'm a raspy machine gun today

Well, it was bound to happen at some point this year. The inevitable (and incurable) Loss of Any Discernible and/or Recognizable Voice. You see, every virus, every bacterial infection, every everything, heads directly for my throat. Lemme put it to you this way: If the germs clogging up my vocal chords right now were little Paris Hiltons and Lindsay Lohans, my throat would be jail. Or rehab. Or a store that sells lots of hideous leggings. Those little buggers just can't stay away.

I find myself clearing my throat approximately every six seconds. It's a lucky thing that both of my cubicle-mates are absent today. Otherwise, I may have been out a couple bucks due to the earplugs I would have purchased out of guilt. My throat-clearing, you understand (which the boyfriend so kindly pointed out), sounds like a machine gun. Staccato and loud. So very soothing in a work environment.

Oh, and this is really fun, too: Instead of saying "Hello" when I answer the phone, I get to whisper, "SorryI'mlosingmyvoicecanyouhearme?"

Ugh. Is it Friday yet?

The ABCs

I'm not one of those people who are anti-meme. Primarily because, ahem, I need every creative (or not-so-creative) boost I can get. But also because I actually enjoy reading other people's answers and contributing my own. The following meme is borrowed from Unnaturally Blonde... because I'm severely lacking in creative juices. And also, I really enjoy procrastinating at work. It's my favorite pastime.

Age - 23, but not for long. The big double-dozen hits on March 13. Six months ago, I would have said I was completely unprepared to be solidly in my mid-twenties. Now, though, I'm more, oh... apathetic. Another birthday that's not 21? Eh.

Band I'm currently listening to: Well, she's not exactly a band in and of herself, but I think she plays the guitar... maybe... Colbie Callait. Love the song "Realize." "Bubbly" is a little overplayed, but I still think it's pretty cute.

Career future: Oof, this is a toughie. My dream job is to be in designer relations at a major magazine... but I'm about as far as possible from that right now. That said, I currently have a pretty cushy job... I get all the days off I ask for, I take liberties with my lunch break, and I've gotten three separate promotions and/or raises since I've been here (which is less than two years). We'll see where the wind takes me... your guess is as good as mine at this point.

Dad's first name: I don't think I'll be giving too much away when I say Chris. Known to some as "Uncle Bubba."

Easiest person to talk to: I probably won't be hurting any feelings or surprising anyone when I say my mom. Although the best friend and the boyfriend probably tie for a close second.

Favorite type of shoe: Heels. DUH. Does any other type exist? What other shoes can simultaneously make your legs look longer, your butt look perkier, and your posture look straighter? Exactly.

Grapes or grapefruit? Definitely green grapes. I like grapefruit juice, though... it's just that the actual fruit gives me pause. And I've learned not to stand around my brother when he's eating it (or even be within 15 feet of him). The spoon wedged in that thing makes for no end of flying, sour grapefruit juice. Extra points if it lands directly in your eye.

Hometown: Nope, nope, and nope. Eastern Kansas is all you'll get.

Instrumental talent: I played the piano for about five minutes and the clarinet for... hmmm... thirty seconds? I think that counts as "talent." After all, to this day I can still play the Jurassic Park theme song on the piano.

Juice of choice: Apple, by far.

Koala bear or panda bear: Not gonna lie, I just had to think seriously hard about the difference between those two. But now that I have it, definitely panda. Those babies (cubs? pups?) are seriously cute.

Longest car ride ever: Well, technically it was a bus ride, but close enough. I went to a summer camp in Sarasota, Fla. in middle school. We started in Kansas. Never again, thank you.

Middle name: Hmmm... nope, don't think so. I plead the fifth.

Number of jobs I've had: Including temporary summer jobs, I think I've had eight. Yikes.

OCD traits: Hold on, I need to go make sure my car is locked for the 57th time today... just kidding. I have several, but the most prominent include thoroughly rinsing the dishes before they go in the dishwasher, wiping down my bathroom sink before bed every night, and getting ready in the morning the exact same way every single day. If anything goes awry, I get slightly (okay, really) distraught and it makes me at least 10 minutes late.

Phobia(s): BEARS. Heights if my safety isn't guaranteed. Being in public without mascara on. Seriously.

Quote: Favorite quote or something quotable I've said? Well, I'll just be all humble and say I haven't ever said anything of note, other than "Where's the beer?"

Reasons to smile: Sunny skies. Fridays. Surprises from the boyfriend. Hearing my best friend laugh. Watching Golden Girls reruns (the reference is revealed!). My dog. A really good manicure. A rave review at work.

Song you sang last: I haven't sung something in its entirety in recent memory, but I hummed along with "Both Of Us'll Feel the Blast" by Waterdeep this morning.

Time you wake up on weekdays: 6:25 a.m. Ugh.

Unknown fact about me: I chew gum for at least three hours at a time.

Vegetable I hate: How about vegetable I don't hate? That would be much easier. Broccoli.

Worst habit: As the boyfriend would adamantly attest, picking the skin around my thumbs. Okay, sometimes other digits fall victim as well.

X-rays I've had: Dental and chest.

Yummiest food my belly likes: CHEESE!

Zodiac sign: Pisces. Definitely a fish.

Okay, that took up enough work time to satisfy me. Now I'm going to go be productive. And responsible. Wish me luck.

Seafood? Check. Beads? Soon.

Aaaaand... I'm back. And you know what's kind of strange? Despite the fact that only two days ago I was in Florida, I'm incredibly happy to be back in Kansas City. Maybe it's the fact that the weather was less than ideal (rainy, windy, and hovering around 65 degrees), maybe it's the fact that I was living out of a suitcase for six days, or maybe it's the fact that my vacation diet consisted of seafood, followed by seafood, followed by a heaping pile of seafood. Whatever the case, home has never felt quite so good to come back to.

Though the weather in Kansas City actually did nip my nose (to the extreme) when I stepped out of the airport, I liked it. I mean, it's January, for crying out loud. It's supposed to be so flipping cold that you can't breathe without feeling like your lungs are made of ice crystals.

Obviously, I'm an enigma. Florida has seemingly rid me of my early-onset spring fever. Snow? Bring it on! Ice? More, please! Give me a few more days of this 12 degree weather, though. I'm sure it won't be long before I've developed the fever again.

But, however good it is to be back in winter where I belong, Florida was absolutely fantastic. A few highlights:

• Picking out three increasingly delicious restaurants in a row. If you're interested (or going to Florida in the near future), they were: Billy's Tap Room, Ormond Beach Steakhouse, and Bergamo's. I ate seafood each and every day except for the last one, when we finally gorged on Wendy's. To my palate, each bite of seafood was a delicacy.
• Trying raw oysters for the first time. A girl's gotta have some sense of adventure, right? Though, let me tell you, never again.
• Sitting in the Mai Tai, an open-air bar just down the beach from our first hotel, listening to live music and drinking a Yeungling. Mmmmm... that's the life.
• Wearing open-toed shoes and short sleeves, even if it wasn't exactly warm.
• Drinking only moderately and never being hungover for more than a few hours. So... responsible!
• Not spending all the cash I brought with me.
• Looking at the ocean through the hotel window.
• Going to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure, which we thought wouldn't happen. First, when it appeared to be too expensive. And second, when the morning we were to go was drizzly and bone-chilling. We went anyway and had a really good time. If you do nothing else in Florida, go on the Spiderman ride at Islands of Adventure. It's worth the line, I promise.

My only regret? We never actually stepped foot in the ocean. Or even touched the water with a tentative toe. I blame the cloudy skies and brutal winds. And the fact that a bartender told us, in detail, how cold the water actually was this time of year.

All told, a great trip. So when's the next one?

Ah. Don't forget, my friends... Mardi Gras is in two weeks. Let the countdown begin.

Ignorance is bliss

My work phone rang late in the afternoon on Thursday and, seeing that it was one of my bosses, I picked up rather quickly.

"Hi, [Boss #2]."

"Hi, K. Could you do me a favor tomorrow morning at nine? Do you have anything planned?"

"Hold on, let me check my calendar... nope, I'm free tomorrow morning. What do you need?"

"Well, a production company is coming to [entity within the organization] to film an educational video. Can you be there to cover it for me?"

"Sure. What's the video about?"

[Nonchalantly, as if this is a regular occurence] "Oh, they're filming the birth of a baby."

[Shrieking] "WHAT? DO I HAVE TO BE IN THE ROOM? I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN WATCH THAT, I MIGHT FAINT OR THROW UP OR... OR... DIE!"

Duly noting my reaction, Boss #2 had quite the little chuckle. And then continued to bully me into being there in her place. My reaction:

"............"

Turns out her own schedule was completely free, she just didn't want to see it either. She may be my boss, but I am most certainly not her bitch.

Moral of the story: my line in the sand (when it comes to work-related duties accepted from tyrant bosses) is drawn right before witnessing the birth of a baby. Because those kids I plan on having eventually? Probably wouldn't be born if I had to see that.

Ignoring those reports of a Floridian hard freeze

It's January 8 and I have spring fever. It's officially hit, extra-early this year. Usually, it doesn't really kick in until after Valentine's Day but, you see, we just had a glorious weekend of 64-degree weather. In January. (I even drove with the sunroof open!) Something of a satanic reprieve from the icy temperatures of the last few weeks. It's almost unconscionable to think that there are at least three more months before that kind of weather becomes a regular event.

But then, me rushing the seasons is nothing new. In January, I want to see green buds on the trees and cerulean skies and just the hint of a cool breeze. In May, I want it to be 90 degrees, so sticky that I can't lay on my stomach in the sun for more than five minutes before I have to get in the pool. In August, I just want the leaves to change and the sun to freaking quit it already with its oppressive attitude. I'm usually pretty happy in October. But in November, I want there to be loads of snow and ice - in other words, it better be beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

But now is the time of year that I'm starting to get a little antsy. And allowing myself to wear short sleeves to work yesterday (the warm weather carried over into Monday), in hindsight, was a wee bit stupid. I can be such a tease.

Thank whoever's in charge that I'll be in Florida a week from today.

Did you say "naked"? In a hammock??

Wow, so it just hit me that I haven't posted anything for over a week... I didn't exactly miss it, the posting, but I haven't been itching to get back to the keyboard either. Oh, well. I'm here now!

A recap of the holiday season:

• Went to several holiday-type parties, the best of which was on New Year's Eve. Rang in 2008 with much sweat (dancing), champagne (in a plastic cup with a strawberry slice), and vigor (duh). Oh, and (how could I almost forget?!?) my new favorite dress.
• Made absolutely no effort to resolve anything for the new year.
• Hung out with the family for several days. Home-cooked meals! Fully-stocked cabinet! Leftovers galore! (I like food.)
• Worked a mere day and a half during the eleven days between the weekend before Christmas and New Year's Day. I'm on consecutive day three back in the office and it hurts. The pain of staring at padded cubicle walls all day!
• Laughed a LOT, at parties and with the fam. And then laughed some more. My facial muscles got a workout - does that count as exercise?
• Farkled* close to ten times. And never lost. The bad karma is building up, I can feel it.

All in all, a great holiday season that was (as usual) far too short. But, BUT! There's Florida in a little over a week. Let the bikini panic begin.

*Farkle is a dice game that the boyfriend (and now I) can't get enough of. It's best played with a group, but two people will do just fine. There's complicated (for me) math involved and lots of rules to adjust to, but man is it FUN. The loser has to do something embarassing/disgusting/repellant. Hence, "What are we farkling for?" may be something like licking the toilet seat or laying naked in a hammock while the rest of the group pummels you with snowballs. (Both of which had to be done by people I know over the holidays. Ha.) Great game. You'd like it.