As if I needed any more reasons

So, I had to settle up on a bet this morning. I won't say what it was about (if you remember, that day doesn't exist to me), only that I had to go to that most scary and intimidating place - Starbucks. Now, I don't drink coffee (except for that one time I had a latte with cinnamon and whipped cream. But if the coffee is really only 3 percent coffee and 97 percent sugar, can you really call it coffee? Hell, yes - THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO DRINK IT), so I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. Reason number 237 why I don't drink the stuff in the first place - complete ignorance.

"Um, what's your largest size?"

The "barrista" murmurs something and swiftly pulls a giant cardboard cup out of what is seemingly her apron.

"Uh, okay, one of those kind. Um, a latte."

"Is that all?"

[Looking around nervously] "Yes?"

"That'll be $3.81." Reason 238.

So I go and stand far away from the counter to wait for my name to be called. As soon as I get to said far-away space, I realize that, wait, the coffee-maker-girl is at the other freaking end, chatting uproariously with the customer who was behind me in line. Okay, I'll just wait here and act like I know what I'm doing. Reason 239.

"Venti latte!"

[Stand around, waiting to hear my name.] [30 minutes pass. Or maybe it was 30 seconds.]

"Venti latte for K!"

Ooooooooohhhh, that big one is called a "venti," not, you know, a "large." Reason 240.

I scurry over and grab the latte. All I can picture the entire way back to the office is that stupid, boiling, milky coffee managing to tip out of its cup and all over my new baby's lap (that would be the, uh, passenger seat). Reason 241.

Luckily, I managed to get back to the office without incident. But now my clothes smell like coffee breath. REASONS 242 THROUGH INFINITY.